*checks the time* It’s already dark, isn’t it?
*groans and burrows deeper into my hoodie*
If there was a perfect visual for the tone I plan to take for this blog, it’s of Tony Stark’s statement for the press right after he got back from his captivity, when he sat down and had all those well-dressed media folks sit, too, so he could eat his cheeseburger and speak freely.
So, uh…everybody sit.
Post-Halloween Burnout
I feel like a wick drowning in a puddle of its own melted wax.
That’s no surprise. It’s November, which is notoriously one of the hardest months of the year for me.
To start with the positives, Halloween was incredible. In spite of my usual tendency to get sad that something is going to end soon while it’s still happening, I pushed through and did several of the things that mean the most to me: I pulled off two excellent costumes and one Halloween-themed outfit for work, went to two different spooky storytelling events, watched Hocus Pocus, and went trick-or-treating with my niece and some friends’ kids. By the end of the night, my heart was overflowing and I went to sleep before 10 p.m. (which is practically unheard of for me).
I also spent most of October cranking out my current spooky story, which I’ve been sharing one part at a time on Patreon.
Since then, however, I’ve been in a state of sadness and creative burnout. For two weeks in a row, I haven’t reached my writing goal and my WIP (work in progress) and I have been staring at each other like a couple of strangers.
Kickstarter Post-Game Analysis
Short story, we funded. Slightly longer version: it was mostly due to the charity of my own family and friends. Not the successful business venture I’d hoped. But after a heart-to-heart with my mom, I’ve resolved to accept their support as an investment in my future. After all, they helped me get to the finish line, which will allow the handful of strangers who backed me to receive their rewards, too. Thus, cash and some reach! What’s not to love?
And now I’ve broken the seal on Kickstarter, so hopefully if I come up with another good campaign idea, it won’t seem as scary.
Life After The Steps
I finished listening to the audiobook of Sylvester Stallone’s memoir The Steps last weekend.
We’re in a Rocky renaissance right now since we’re coming up on the 50th anniversary of the first movie, and two major endeavors have marked the celebration: The Steps, and the movie I Play Rocky. I might go see the movie, but the book is Sly’s account. He wasn’t part of the making of the movie aside from answering a few questions for the lead actors.
I chose the audiobook of The Steps since 1. I like his voice and 2. it felt like sitting across the table from him while he tells his story, which is the perfect vibe for such a personal account. He accompanied me on the six-hour drives to and from a friend’s wedding, which made the hours fly by and resulted in laughter, tears, and lots of yelling, “WHAT?” (So maybe it’s for the best that I listened to it alone in the car.)
I highly recommend his book. There is some really tough stuff in there, but it’s absolutely worth sticking with it to the end. As much as I adore Rocky, the story behind Rocky may be even better.
Hearing Sly tell his own story in his own voice without the filtering of the media showed me that he’s a lot like me as a creative person. The way he seeks out inspiration, the way he views the world, and the stuff that he loves all felt like home to me. This has resulted in the surprising feeling of having found a kindred spirit who’s hundreds of miles away, both physically and metaphorically. He found a way to work with the tough guy version of him that everybody always perceived, but there is a beautiful soul behind it, and it feels like I’ve gained a friend.
I gave The Steps five stars on Goodreads, but now I’m also in a post-excellent-book slump.
So, Now What?
Jeez, that is a good question. *checks notecards* Unfortunately, that’s pretty much all I’ve got for you right now.
In fact, my world has necessarily become a little smaller for right now in order to cope with all of the feelings. It pretty much consists of the following:
- Cuddling my sweet toddler niece and my two Halloween-colored cats, who seem to sense my mood
- Going for long walks, even in the premature darkness (seriously, 90 minutes and two hours last night and the night before, respectively)
- Resisting (or not resisting) my hibernation instincts, which include nest-building, stockpiling, and eating all the cozy foods ever
- Crying at my therapist’s office without always knowing the reason why
- Playing a new-to-me comfort game on my Switch
- Working my way through daily tasks while feeling like I’m trying to motivate a very stubborn dog
- Trying not to catch whatever sickness is making everyone cough right now
Hopefully I’ll be able to rehabilitate my spirits soon, but I’m trying not to rush it. At the moment, I’d just like to thank everyone who backed my Kickstarter campaign, as well as all the people who haven’t taken down their Halloween decorations just yet, or at least haven’t already started decorating for Christmas. As a pedestrian, I appreciate you.
Thanks to you for following my journey. Sorry this month isn’t super exciting to recount, but I hope you had as much fun over Halloween (and the most wonderful month of the year) as I did! And seriously, go read The Steps.